What makes Violence alright?

Over the weekend I had a conversation with my friends where I shared that I often feel that when I am unmasked and open my mouth I create uncomfortable situations. Because I speak on what I see and what I think. And what I see is often the truth that is unspoken. So when I lay it out on the table it always seems to create this wave of deepness that feels vulnerable and people often like to avoid. In my mind that's the only thing that matters. Those layers of truth create a connection that is clean and fair. But going through those layers is not easy. This is of course on a macro and micro scale. And seeing the connections of my world made my head explode. I see that standing up and speaking up comes with a specific type of violence. We might not register it as violence but it for sure kills parts. When I speak on a topic that is sensitive and we do not agree we have to kill parts of our ego to be able to stay open to another. And also kill parts of ourselves that feel shame around being vulnerable or scared to lose a relationship. What is more important than staying true to yourself? But what happens when we are scared to speak up and take a stand because there is a form of oppression within our system of self? When do we choose to stay silent? And out of what kind of motivation? 

Somehow it led me to think about this quote. "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind" . Widely attributed to Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi's philosophy on non-violence and resistance is known to most of us. But let's not forget that he was also recorded being racist and had a special place in his bed for young girls. So we should definitely take that with us.

Yet I carried that quote with me. The part of me that is a harmony seeking tree lover who wants desperately to believe that if we just sit down together and talk and really listen, we could end world hunger today. However, obviously this is not how the world seems to work.

Back in the day when corona hit, soon after the BLM movement started, I remembered that those were two moments for me where I had to consciously ‘ pick a side’. Do I get vaccinated? Do I follow the fear movement of the dirty politicians? Do I stand up to protest in solidarity with my black friends? As a person of color I of course view the world through this lens. So for me the choices were pretty simple. Of course I stood up, but the way the world seemed to react was never so clear for me as it was in those moments. 

Back then we were busy trying to decolonize the spiritual world and taking back our ancestral plant medicines and rituals. Doing our part, taking our stands. 

But you know the hits just kept on coming.This was 6 years ago. In my experience we have been in a pressure cooker since that moment. Understanding that the billionaires are ruling the world, the puppets in politics are up for sale and the elite baby eating pedofiles are the lawmakers. And of course let us not leave out the many genocides all over the world that did not make the headlines in the way we wanted them to make.

All the information around the world is spreading faster than ever thanks to the internet and social media, and at the same time consuming us by growing into a superintelligence that those billionaires are now racing towards to claim. A.I. is of course here to stay but the way it is being sold, is that it is inevitable, and we will all die. Data centres. Femicide. Genocide. Climate crisis. The pressure is on. 

And then a while ago I started seeing more, as described in mainstream media, violent protests led by students. By f^cking gen z. The mainstream media described it as violent riots, looting students, destroying cities and attacking the police. I consumed the information and watched the videos online. And I agreed. It was violent.They were burning down cities. And then I felt a feeling of relief. Finally a voice whispered to myself. 

When we speak of non violence I always have a feeling that that sounds great. But when I zoom out I see that we are living in a world where there is violence all around. The systems of the colonizers, the men that oppress are all extremely violent, and yet they ask us to protest in a non violent way. You can tell your government that you don't agree with the ridiculous housing prices and lack of education but only marching with cardboard signs on a route given by that government. We can go into the streets and protest against the ongoing genocides and femicide but if we are too loud the police will come and shut it down. And they will shut it down with violence. 

What about no justice, no peace. 

What about "No liberation without resistance" which is a core principle in social justice movements that reflects the idea that freedom and systemic change cannot happen through passive acceptance, silence, or neutrality.

What about staying silent during times of oppression? 

When you don't feel like this is your fight, or when you feel like politics are just not your thing, are you then in fact not just completely privileged? If the state of the world does not affect you, are you then a part of the people or a part of the problem?

The world might seem grim, and the exhaustion is real, but is there really another choice then to keep going?

I am a violent person. I fight, fight for what I believe in, fight for the people and things that I love. So seeing these students, for example in France over the weekend, going at it, made me happy. It made me happy to see that when people come together we are unstoppable. Would I have loved to see a dialogue between parties where compromises were made and peace was reached with just words? Yes, I would have loved that, but is that real? Is that really an option? Do you ask a snake to please stop biting you? Or do you chop off its head? Because you know you can not change its nature?

Anyway, I saw this connection over the weekend and I felt the electricity in the air. Speaking up and standing for what you believe in, is in a way violent. But in essence that is what I am made of. An alchemist. Turning pain into medicine, and destroying all obstacles that keep me oppressed. Within myself, within my own little world and outside. Out there in the world. But I need to do that work within myself where I keep believing that a better world is possible, and I need to keep moving through layers of shame and fear to be able to be as honest as I possibly can. Not to be right, but to be honest. Those kids out there who are fighting the police are violent, its true. But is that really such a bad thing?